Manipulation

I heard this sermon a few weeks ago which was entitled "Just tell the truth".  Funny how we don't tell the truth.  And how we spend hours trying to figure out how to get what we want through manipulation.  Case in point, we want a certain outcome so what we do is jump to the end result first and come up with ways to manipulate the situation or the person so that it comes out in our favor.  I was watching a lady who really wanted to be good friends with another woman in a group of women.  So what she did was begin to think of all the ways that she could layer love onto the woman that she wanted to become a good friend.  What she didn't realize was how fake actions appeared.  Everyone could tell she was after something except her.  She was the only one that didn't think that her actions appeared fake.  I guess it was because she was so busy being fake it never dawned on her to be real. STOP BEING FAKE!!!

Don't be angry

You don't have to be angry because you were not recognized or acknowledged as a child.  No matter how hard you tried or how well you did, no one noticed  It may have seemed as if those who were a little better, a little bigger got all the attention.  It is really o.k.  You can handle it.

Self-Inquiry

Self-inquiry is the process of discovering what it is within you that is hurt by what goes on around you.  A self-inquiry is a healing process.  Self-inquiry puts you in touch with vital information about yourself which you have ignored, denied or may not be aware of.

The third question in our self-inquiry is the memory that is the source of this feeling/  In other words, when was the first time I felt this way? If you take a deep breath and call for the truth of your being, this will be the Bingo response!  This is the question that will remind you of who it was that first made you feel this feeling.  How this situation reminds you of that situation.  Armed with this information, your healing is imminent.  

When you remember the first time you felt this way, you must pray! You must forgive yourself for all beliefs, judgments, decisions, choices and agreements that have caused me to be attached to pain, hurt, sham, anger, guilt, disappointment and any other toxic emotions.

Take time to heal your mind, heart of soul of things which are no longer relevant to so that you can move forward!

Greatest Potential

If you really want to live your life to the fullest and realize your greatest potential, you must be willing to run the risk of making some people mad. Whenever you move beyond someone's opinion of you, they get upset because you thought more of yourself than they thought of you.  If you want to know just how much you can do, how far you can reach, how much you can stretch, you must be willing to leave some people behind. 

You must be willing to do more, be more and have more than those in your present company have.  And they are going to get angry.  This does not mean you should compare yourself to them.  Nor does it mean you are showing off.  It means that you must be willing to step out on  your own, try life for yourself and claim your divine inheritance with out guilt.  It is yours to have, so claim it. 

You must be willing to live without the opinions of other people.  And how we live listening to them.. Just stop already.  That means you don't ask for opinions.   And when they are offered, you need not accept them.  In order to find your identity, your authenticity and a true sense of wholeness, you must develop your individuality from the wealth of information that comes from within.  

Stay tuned for more on how I realized that I can't wear everything in my closet.

Fresh Hot Coffee

Stop Judging

If you are looking at someone and observing their actions, trying to understand their motives without a clue about why they do what they do.   You just think that certain people should know better they should be doing better.  The truth is that every time you should someone you make a judgment.  This means the wrong that you attribute to them actually belongs to you.

Based upon what you may or may not know you make a judgment.  You think that you are superior and that you have the right to determine what must be done, and how it must be done.  A judgment is a means of control.  You are trying to get people to do what you want or need so that you can feel better about yourself.  It is really a sign of fear. It is the discontent that you feel within. 

We each have our own set of lessons to learn and we take a different path to our lessons.  Become accepting of yourself and others.  Just let others be who they are and you be who you are.

Successful Women Rising

Most Successful women have joined the 5 am club or they just rise 1 hour before their normal rising time to do the following on a consistent basis.

1.       Scribing – The power of journaling  getting their thoughts out on paper.

2.       Silence – Sit in silence for 5-15 minutes daily. Don't eat, slip, just breathe.

3.       Affirmations – Give yourself a pep talk each day.  Say who you are or who you hope to become.

4.       Visualization – Create a vision board for the year and break it down in quarters.  (4)

5.       Exercise – Do yoga, walk and or stretch

6.       Reading – Choose some a book of the month.  Read 12 books in a year.  Looking for my book list coming out in the next few days.

 

Fresh Hot Coffee

Lights, Camera, Accessories.......

Brrrrrrrrrrr!  It's cold outside and when I'm dressing for work it is my goal to stay warm and look professional.  One way to do that is to have my accessories ready to grab and go.  I've sorted my scarfs by color and size for easy access. I keep two pair of tights in each color ready wear and I don't have to really think about it. Below are the items that are a must have in the winter months to make  a great work outfit and to keep you warm too!

1. Leggings or tights in brown, black, grey and blue, 2. A third piece, a vest, scarf or sweater, AND  3. Boots (last season I said riding boots, but this year I going to go with just boots.  And remember there is no sparkle overload.  Just sparkle, layering on the arm party.

2.  Animal print and calf hair is everywhere and jewel tones are fun too:  Ruby, Emerald and my favorite is Teal.  Fun, fun, fun. .

Now, let's talk about the scarfs:  I'm sharing 6 ways to wear them below.

1. The European Knot - Around the neck.
2. Hat around the neck and tuck into your coat.
3. Hang loose - possible knot in the front.
4. Loose around the neck with a vest.
5. Over a dress as a wrap because of the air on your shoulders
6. Through a belt. 


My scarfs are not itchy, baby blanket soft and not heavy.  Layer these items on to give you the creative edge you need to make a classy wardrobe statement everyday.

Fresh Hot Coffee

All Year Long

It's been a ride for 2016 and I don't think that I made a single post.  I thought about it, however, I never sat down and actually did.  It's all good, however, there a number of things and themes available in 2016 to have posted.  With that being said, I'm going to get ahead for 2017 and set up some post to be blogged.   Thanks for tuning in and watch for me info. 

Fresh Hot Coffee

Reposition current talent

A more commonly embraced alternative is using existing staff to take on new responsibility and it's cost effective as well.  Here are some points to reflect on as you take on the task:  

1.     The key to this approach is to identify the right individual for this career changing move and the importance that mentoring will play.  There are certain skillsets like focus, vision and the ability to be calm under pressure are critical personal are skills that can not be taught.  These individuals know the technology environment, internal politics and the needs and expectations of the culture. providing some direction and allowing individuals to learn by doing

2.     Sending staff to comprehensive training workshops and courses where they can learn specific skillsets; like decision making, problem solving and communications are skills that can be learned and developed. 

 

3.  Paring the with an experience mentor who is responsible for guiding his or her training and development is useful.  By providing some one on one direction and allowing individuals to learn by doing a company can grow it's existing talent.

 

This is just a starting point a stay tuned for more to come.

 

Being Clear

When you have an intact, healthy sense of worth you value other people.  You realize that people are different. You understand that people see things and interpret things in different ways and there is nothing wrong with that.  You do not compare yourself to them, nor do you feel the need to compete with them.  You know who you are which means you can accept others as they are.

So many any people don't know or haven't learned this.  When you do have a healthy or intact sense of worthy, you feel the need to win every argument. You feel the need to always prove your point.  You are threatened by difference.  You need agreement with your views, your values and opinions in order to feel supported and acknowledged. Since you do have enough of your own worth to draw upon, you will set out to destroy the worth of those who you believe are opposing you. This is very sad an you should really seek some professional assistance.

Should you ever find yourself on the attack, realize that you are experiencing a sense of less than or not as good as.  When you find yourself tearing down someone else in order to prove your point, realize that you have lost your footing.  Disagreement is no the same as an attack.  When you call someone out, when you criticize their physical being, their talents or gifts or efforts, believing that their inability too agree with you someone how makes you wrong, realize that you have lost it.  You have lost your sens of worth.

Rating myself

This has been a week of self-inquiry as well as rating my skills at different assignments.  I have chosen to get myself to a better place by evaluating how well I have done on a scale of 1-10 and what it would take to have made whatever assignment I was working on a 10. 
The Benefits of reading this post are:
1. If you read this post you will perform better that you have in the past.
2. You will always come out of any assignment confident that you have done your best.
3. You will be aware of what you did wrong and what you can improve upon.

What I have found is that if I will look back at each event to rate myself and then determine what I would have made it a 10 it was not difficult to make things come out better.  This has been an extremely useful exercise even in retrospect.

I have began to use it in the reverse by asking the question before I begin the task "how can I make this assignment a 10?"  Immediately write down what I think would take the assignment to a 10 i.e. how can I make this posting interesting:

1. List the benefits to reading the post first.

2. Write the post and proof read it.
3. Close it by stating look for more later

This was very insightful as well as helpful for completing all of my assignments with a 10!

Making yourself better at anything - The Secret!

https://www.themuse.com/advice/the-easy-secret-to-making-yourself-better-at-anything?utm_source=Sailthru&utm_medium=email&utm_term=Daily%20Email%20List&utm_campaign=The%20Easy%20Secret%20to%20Making%20Yourself%20Better%20at%20Anything

Write it down and make it happen

I have been a way for quite a few months.  I've been working my business and as well studying and have not been able to post as I would like to have done.  I've decided to write it down as a goal and now here I am posting.  Writing it down is not about time management.  It is not a to do today list that will make you feel guilty if you don't get every single thing done.  Rather, writing it down is about clearing your head, identifying want you want and setting your intent.  You can only retain about seven things at one time in your head is what research says.  You can "make it happen" by believing in the possibility.  Once you state your goal in writing, the rest of the world can cooperate with your ambition from career goals and major moves to waking up in the morning happy.  Write it down " I wake up in the morning with a sense of joy"  Try it because it works.  "I will not allow anyone and I mean any upset my day."  I will register for school this week and what about booking that dream vacation .  Do it now... write it down and MAKE it happen.

Happy goal setting.  
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Secrets in the work place

Secret #1 – Think Big

·         Present and pursue bold initiatives

·         Pursue Business success on a large scale –it the only success worth pursuing

·         Be willing to challenge the status quo.

·         Overcome complacency

·         Launch, define, and operate your business and your career in a way that continually shatters people’s preconceptions.

·         Remember: People have a way of making room at the table for big thinkers.

·         Realize that small ideas rarely lead to large accomplishments.

·         Don’t forget that time is tight in today’s business environment.

·         Learn to imitate other notably successful entrepreneurs. 

Secret #2 – Show the Competition No Mercy

·         Identify and neutralize your company’s competition and your own competition.

·         Pay attention to both internal and external competition in the business world.

·         Remember, in the world of the high achiever, competition is a rule of life.

·         Learn what must be done in order to outperform other people and other institutions.

·         Never forget that your goal is to become a leader.

·         Don’t hold grudges.

·         Focus on the best ways to win.

·         Know that internal competition is what makes high-level external competitions possible.

·         Don’t concentrate exclusively on helping your team, but rather on helping yourself and your team. 

Secret #3 Defend Yourself Aggressively

·         Don’t expect others to defend you.

·         Remember, life in the business world is not always fair.

·         Study the competition, look at all the options, and think your plans through ahead of time.

·         Expect others to notice your ability to respond effectively to situations,

·         If you’re under attack, step forward and state your case.

·         Hone the ability to provide a reasoned, well-articulated, and impassioned defense of what I believe in.

·         Don’t expect attacks to disappear by letting them go unanswered.

·         Forget about “rising above the fray,” ignoring charges that do not deserve a response” and “letting others do the fighting.”

Brand new life of inspiriation, hope and purpose.

Public Speaking

Can you identify with this scenario?   I have averaged maybe two speaking engagements a year and these were not even paid engagements. I had never handled my speaking career in a professional manner.  Everything was catch-as-catch can, word-of- mouth, seat of the pants.  I had my niche, but I never promoted myself.  I never called or emailed to thank a client afterward.  I never even kept track of what I'd done for each group that I spoke to. 

How will I change it? I decided that if I'm a public speaker and I have a message to share that I need to get serious and be professional about what I'm promoting.  I've decided to contact a free local newspaper and ask the editor to publish a story about me.  Whew!  Big move and a bit scary.  An article all about me.  Yes, me and what I have to offer. I am ready, I have what it takes and the universe needs to see me back in action.  I'll going to check back in six months to evaluate personal my progress. 

.More about insight, drive and focus in my next post.  I'm off to get another cup of  Joe.  See you at the meeting.

 

It's Green and Spring

Finally,  after soo much winter and unthawing we are onto the Spring of things!  It is April Fools day and I'm preparing to go to a ZUMBA class in a few hours.  Excited to be able to do things and not worry about whether or not the weather will be gloomy, rainy and/or cold.

As the saying goes, the first quarter went out like a lamb and April came in on us. It has also been said that the year is either a year for questions or a year of answers.  The first three months of 2014 for me have been a year of answers personally and professionally.  I have been painfully slapped in the face with certain things that were reality.  It has been harsh, but, I've shook myself, managed to get up and as they say to keep it moving.  I haven't been able to blog, because so much was on my plate personally and/or professionally. 

Most of the situations, I put in motion two years ago and now I am seeing the fruits of my labor.  I'm not as pleased outcomes and now realize that some of the situations I created and that I really didn't do enough research.  I feel I did the best that I could with what I knew.  Here is why I say that having a mentor would have assisted me in my decision making process.  However, without one I had to go for what I knew; using materials I've researched and read. I gained great experience and exposure in each situation and I learned that by changing roles and accepting an elevated role you will fill a bit more powerful.  The power comes because you are required to make decisions on the spot and you can't ask anyone.   It can be a bit daunting, however, empowering at the same time.  I always knew that I was leadership material because in my role of an Administrative Assistant we lead every day.  it is just the title that limits our leadership. 

And now that we are into the first month of the second quarter I am sure that more answers are coming.  I'm committed to posting four post per month.  At this point, I'm ahead of the game.   Hang in there for answers next week.  Not sure of the topic, however, look for the post.

Allies

There are a few things that an ally in the work place does for you:

1. They help you realize that you are not alone.
2. They offer constructive feedback.  They can point out things you might be doing or not doing.
3. They help you strategize everything from your next project to your next position. 
4. They provide access to information. 

Women should not shy away from making connections with each other.  Men do it all the time on the golf course or even over Scotch.  Building alliances with other women is most helpful.  It takes courage to take the time to connect with another woman and get to know her.  Keep in mind that these alliance are about career building, not about snaggin another girlfirend.  Keep it professional.

Leader without having authority

Another Tennessee Summit has come and gone, whew!  This year it was suppose to be a "mini" summit and it blossomed into a full blown summit.  It is amazing when your audience wants more of what you are offering.  We used the blocks in the functional areas for the necessary training needed that has not been available to the campus.

When you think about it this is one of the only opportunities the functional/technical areas have been able to get together for collective coordinated training throughout the year and it was well recieved.

This was an "aha" moment for me, because this would be an opportunity as we bring all the campus together annually that we could capitalize upon by doing our best to make the program offers exceptionally robust.  I'm thrilled to think that going forward the task is to build one of the best training opportunities available for the universities/community colleges. 

This was a grand opportunity for me to build positive relations with my colleagues as well as my customers.  My client and/or customer is my office staff members as well as any individual from a campus.   Sometime as an administrative assistant we may not have authority, however, we certainly have influence.  As I worked to help others look good it helped me to win influence with those individuals. 

The way that I've made the most of my influence is to focus on providing superior service when dealing with my clients and customers.  As I have supported their efforts to build their track offerings, they have in turn been supportive of me and acknowledged my work in turn.  

I have also found that when others have been frustrated that they are not being heard, I can amplify their essage by mentioning them, reinforcing them and by reflecting positvely upon what they are sharing. 

Tennesee Summit was a grand success.  Kudos to all the presenters and attendees.  I look forward to next year's program. 

The office hub

It is already mid-July and this is my very first post.  I gotten side track with the summer programs on TV after work and just chilling.  Time to refocus.  As I rethink what's been going on in my life; I'm recalling that I've been more focused, direct and deliberate with working on entreprenial experience.  And that is what has taken me away from my professional blogging.  My office, mine personally often times ends up being a hub where people come to find out all kinds of information i.e. feed back on a presentation, the whereabouts of the boss, his mood, fashion questions and often timescareer advice.  You name it and people come talk to me about it.  I'm in an attempt to explode the myth that I am "just an admin" because in most cases I am truly the hub they are looking for. 

I have some of the most endearing connections and what is good about it is that I like bring people together.  It's kind of a key in lock theory.  It's not always about who you are, but aout what or who you know.  And I know some people.  I see taking on the role of the hub as one of the most valuable people in an organization.  I network with others in the business community, not because I have a piece of business to give them at that moment, but I might in the future or I might refere someone who will give them that piece of valuable information or business.  I love it.

I have countless individuals that stop by on a daily basis just for me to give them a read on a personal or professional scenario.  I appreciate their confidence in my insight.  From where I sit, I can see things from a very different and non-judgmental empowering position.  In most meetings, I'm meeting new people and making connections which is what networking is all about. 

Today, I had a CIO tell me that he is looking for a new adminstratve assistant and so I'm on the look out talking to other people that I know in the area that mayknow someone looking for a job or even a change. 

I have a few leads and I'm going to send them his way.  That connection will be a good one if I send him a good take charge individual.  I'll let you know how that works out in one of my next blogs in the months to follow.