CAP Certification

I passed my CAP certification!   After taking 2 non-credit courses, declining numerous lunch invitations, scheduling study sessions with others taking the course, creating note card, taking annual leave to crash course study for the grueling 4 1/2 hour exam I passed!!!  Whew hoooooo. 

After taking the exam I really didn't talk about it because there weren't any words to describe what I felt around the the preparation and the exam.  I'm grateful.  

Diane Bonner, CAP 

Take the leap

Honestly, I can not believe the 12 months of 2012 passed so quickly.  Boy, what a ride of the unknown it was for me.  It seems it was just January and I was considering a transformative change in my life when it came to where I worshiped and served.  I had struggled with the decision to begin using my gifts and talents at another ministry in addition to the one I've been attending for the last decade. I had been pondering this decision for years. Yes, years and it came to the point where I decided now is the time to do it.  Why wait until you are 90 years old to run a marathon.  There are just some things that you ponder in your heart and they are not for the eyes or mouth of others.  I pondered this decision for days, weeks, months and years.  So when I made the decision it was one that came with a lot of prayer and thought.

Every situation spoke to me about what are you waiting for, it is time to actualize what you have been thinking and talking about.  Either do it or stop thinking about it.  I could not continue on the path I was on because I was miserable.  It was what TD Jakes call silent frustration.  It was a decision that was necessary for my spiritual survival, however, an extremely difficult one to make. As I made the decision, there were those welcoming me on the other side of the change and as well those naysayers standing behind and snearing.  Those that I never thought were against me were against me. And secretly desired to see me fail.  The silence was deafening.  Still I pressed on....   

I made the leap in January 2012 to try something different.  I decided that if I was going to die a silent death that  I might as well die going after something worthwhile.  This decision had been one that was a long time coming.  As much to my surprise, when I made the leap I made a perfect landing.  It was unreal and I was received with arms of love and acceptance.  I came up with many reasons why it was successful which I will give in another post in latter this month. 

The way I began to know the voice of God more was in sacrificing everything I knew and loved up to his request and then waiting on him to show up.  You know what he showed up for me.  In this decision, I walked alone and it was difficult.  To be honest, I prayed with every step and I had to hold my cards close to my chest and just trusted that I had heard his voice.  I just knew that God had something more for me to learn and I had to listen to his voice.  In listening to his voice, I learned an enormous amount of information about myself and as well those around me.  One thing that I did learn was that the more you listen to the quiet small voice within the louder it gets.  When you ignore it and you ask for guidance the next time you ask the voice is quiet.  Almost nonexistant.   Why ask for advice and when you receive it you don’t take it. 

I would tell anyone it is soo worth listening to that inner voice because it is what will guide you when all else fails.  It will never leave you alone.  I’m grateful that I listened and I’ve been rewarded time and time over in 2012.  I’ve accomplished things in this leap that I could not have imagined.  Even in my leap, I expected doom and gloom.  Although, I attempted to have a positive outlook it was difficult because it was the unknown.  I am now learning more expect the good with anything because it has just as much the propensity to turn out good rather than bad.  The universal law of attraction comes into play. You attract what you expect.  So expect the best and deal with the bad when it it happens.  Keep a positive outlook regardless.  

 I actually thought I was being disobedient by wanting something more than I had, however, I found it that was not the case I was actually being obedient in listening to God.  Of course many other people didn’t agree and still don’t, however, I now know that it was a path that I had to take to understand and know more the voice of God. 

The one thing that I would say that I conquered in 2012 was fear of the unknown and I am still amazed at what I am encountering.   And because I didn’t let fear stop me I gained a greater understanding of how to make good decisions and better ones for me persnally.  If your decisions are made based in fear they will become bad decisions, however, if your decisions are made based in conquering fear they have a good chance of being good decisions.  Everything you learn from the decision will be par for the course.  Life is a class and you only learn by doing.  

To realistically take the leap, I had to think back to when I made the decision to move across the nation from the north to the south.  The decision to come to Tennessee was not the accepted or approved decision and many people in my life said “no” you shouldn’t do it.  But I look back at that decision and realized how I didn’t let fear of the unknown stop me from making the move.  And because I didn’t let fear stop me I landed well.  Take the leap!  It is worth it.