Provide Security

Wow!  Provide Security.  I commited to four post this month and we are in week three and I've only completed one post.  I'm behind the gun, however, don't fret I will deliver as promised.  Thanks for checking back.   T

This post is all about understanding that people are never more insecure than when they become obsessed with their fears at the expense of their dreams.  People who focus on their fears don't grow.  They become paralyzed and can't move.  Leaders are in a position to provide followers with an environment of security in which they can grow.  I've heard this echoed several times.  I read about it in "Courageous Leadership" by Bill Hybels great book if you haven't read it.  It changed my life when I read it.

 I seem to always get stuck with leaders that do not know how to create such an environment for me to grow within in my primary employment or even spiritual life.  I was just out there like a weed and just growing.  Heat and sun burning my skin and the rain almost chocking me out.  One thing about that kind of growth is you learn survival and it comes from the school of hard knocks. 

Early in my career I did have some guidance, although it was not extended.  I marvel at the people who grew up in a nutured environment with guidance and direction along every step.  It seems they would get further along.  Not sure how they feel about the guidance they recieved.  But it seems it would have been a good pairing to have someone as a mentor. 

At this point in the game, I'm grateful for three new voices in my life right now.  And these voices are constant and extremely nuturing, two are very upclose and one from somewhat of a distance.  Needless to say, it doesn't matter to me when I haven't had any.  I can truly appreciate the guidance and support that I'm getting now.  Up close or from a distance.  I'm holding onto their every word.  It has been good for me. 

Great leaders make their followers feel bigger than they are.  Soon the followers begin to think, act, and produce bigger than they are.  Finally, they become what they they think they are.  Henry Ford once said, "one of the great discoveries a man makes, one of his great surprises, is to find he can do what he was afraid he couldn't do."  A nuruturing leader proives the secruity a potential leadear needs to make that discovery..... 

Until next week, don't miss an opportunity. 

First Quarter of 2013 has ended

The first quarter of 2013 has come and gone like a March wind.  It breezed in here and who was ready for the first quarter to begin.  I certainly wasn't, however, ready or not it was on.   I have to say I came out of the shoot by setting goals mid January professionally and personally.  These goals were complete with timelines and strategies for attaining my goal.

I thought that I had clearly defined the goal, a timeline and the steps necessary for achieving each goal.  I expressed my goals in terms of specific events or behaviors ( For example, "my goal is to actively return to college in a degree program.") that was just an example.  

As I reflect and review the achievings of the first quarter were many, however, none of them quite what I had prepared or planned out to do.  The bottom line with the goals that I set I allowed life to get in the way and I got off track.  I've reviewed each goal and decided whether or not it is worth my time to continue with working to achieve it in the 2nd quarter or do I need to scrap it all the way. 

I will just tell you that one of my goals is to complete 4 posts to each of my blogs for the month and that is just one post a week.  I've set the theme for the month as renewal and I'm on my way.  I'll be stopping at a local coffee house a couple of times a week to work on each post.  I'm excited about it and I'm going to achieve this goal for April and expect to work it right through to June.   Second Quarter and it is on...... Stay tuned for next weeks post.  It will be all about Spring renewal.  Until then always be prepared to seize the moment. 

Diane

CAP Certification

I passed my CAP certification!   After taking 2 non-credit courses, declining numerous lunch invitations, scheduling study sessions with others taking the course, creating note card, taking annual leave to crash course study for the grueling 4 1/2 hour exam I passed!!!  Whew hoooooo. 

After taking the exam I really didn't talk about it because there weren't any words to describe what I felt around the the preparation and the exam.  I'm grateful.  

Diane Bonner, CAP 

Take the leap

Honestly, I can not believe the 12 months of 2012 passed so quickly.  Boy, what a ride of the unknown it was for me.  It seems it was just January and I was considering a transformative change in my life when it came to where I worshiped and served.  I had struggled with the decision to begin using my gifts and talents at another ministry in addition to the one I've been attending for the last decade. I had been pondering this decision for years. Yes, years and it came to the point where I decided now is the time to do it.  Why wait until you are 90 years old to run a marathon.  There are just some things that you ponder in your heart and they are not for the eyes or mouth of others.  I pondered this decision for days, weeks, months and years.  So when I made the decision it was one that came with a lot of prayer and thought.

Every situation spoke to me about what are you waiting for, it is time to actualize what you have been thinking and talking about.  Either do it or stop thinking about it.  I could not continue on the path I was on because I was miserable.  It was what TD Jakes call silent frustration.  It was a decision that was necessary for my spiritual survival, however, an extremely difficult one to make. As I made the decision, there were those welcoming me on the other side of the change and as well those naysayers standing behind and snearing.  Those that I never thought were against me were against me. And secretly desired to see me fail.  The silence was deafening.  Still I pressed on....   

I made the leap in January 2012 to try something different.  I decided that if I was going to die a silent death that  I might as well die going after something worthwhile.  This decision had been one that was a long time coming.  As much to my surprise, when I made the leap I made a perfect landing.  It was unreal and I was received with arms of love and acceptance.  I came up with many reasons why it was successful which I will give in another post in latter this month. 

The way I began to know the voice of God more was in sacrificing everything I knew and loved up to his request and then waiting on him to show up.  You know what he showed up for me.  In this decision, I walked alone and it was difficult.  To be honest, I prayed with every step and I had to hold my cards close to my chest and just trusted that I had heard his voice.  I just knew that God had something more for me to learn and I had to listen to his voice.  In listening to his voice, I learned an enormous amount of information about myself and as well those around me.  One thing that I did learn was that the more you listen to the quiet small voice within the louder it gets.  When you ignore it and you ask for guidance the next time you ask the voice is quiet.  Almost nonexistant.   Why ask for advice and when you receive it you don’t take it. 

I would tell anyone it is soo worth listening to that inner voice because it is what will guide you when all else fails.  It will never leave you alone.  I’m grateful that I listened and I’ve been rewarded time and time over in 2012.  I’ve accomplished things in this leap that I could not have imagined.  Even in my leap, I expected doom and gloom.  Although, I attempted to have a positive outlook it was difficult because it was the unknown.  I am now learning more expect the good with anything because it has just as much the propensity to turn out good rather than bad.  The universal law of attraction comes into play. You attract what you expect.  So expect the best and deal with the bad when it it happens.  Keep a positive outlook regardless.  

 I actually thought I was being disobedient by wanting something more than I had, however, I found it that was not the case I was actually being obedient in listening to God.  Of course many other people didn’t agree and still don’t, however, I now know that it was a path that I had to take to understand and know more the voice of God. 

The one thing that I would say that I conquered in 2012 was fear of the unknown and I am still amazed at what I am encountering.   And because I didn’t let fear stop me I gained a greater understanding of how to make good decisions and better ones for me persnally.  If your decisions are made based in fear they will become bad decisions, however, if your decisions are made based in conquering fear they have a good chance of being good decisions.  Everything you learn from the decision will be par for the course.  Life is a class and you only learn by doing.  

To realistically take the leap, I had to think back to when I made the decision to move across the nation from the north to the south.  The decision to come to Tennessee was not the accepted or approved decision and many people in my life said “no” you shouldn’t do it.  But I look back at that decision and realized how I didn’t let fear of the unknown stop me from making the move.  And because I didn’t let fear stop me I landed well.  Take the leap!  It is worth it.

Advice

Should you take someone's advice?  Good question and here are the reasons we end up taking someone's advice according to author Jeffrey Gitomer:

                                      1. Your firends with them.
                                      2. You trust their expertise.
                                      3. You have a relationship
                                      4. Your immediate family.
                                      5.  Battling logic verus emotion as you receive this advice.

Taking advice is a very sensitive and delicate process because it usually means someone else has helped you make a decision or made the decision for you, and you were willing to accept it based on a combination of your gut-level feeling and your trust.  I still ask is that what you should do? 

The last person's advice I trusted was the math teacher who told me that algebra would be useful to me someday.

Think you are tops?

What's the  worst personal quality that a bos can display, accordign to 1,000 workers recently survey by Hogan Assessment systems?  Arrogance.  Followed by manipulative, emotionally brittle, a micromanager, passive aggressive and distrustful.   Source: Chad Brooks/Live Science.com   Interesing point of view huh?  I've had some great bosses in my caree and they have all been respnsibile, inspiration, tactful and foremost trustworthy. 

There is nothing like a trustworthy boss.  You will do soo much for the individual even without them asking you, or I would.  That is not everyone's story.  Trust yourself.  You know more than you think you do.  Dr. Benjamin Spock.

Do you trust yourself?  Have you ever looked back a decision you made and got angry with yourself?  I know that I've done it and I will probably do it again.  It is always easier to see what one could have done or should have been done after the fact.  I've learned that as I trust myself with decisions, my trust causes me to get more clarity in decision making.  Then the next time I'm faced with a decision which is difficult I decide to trust myself and move forward. I will get an A, B, C or D, but, I won't fail because I'm learning.  If I make it a mistake it will teach me to be more in tune to my judgment.   It is a great stepping stone for building trust within myself.  Trusting self is a very important step to beginning to trust others.

This means you have to trust your thinking, your wisdom, your knowledge, your judgment, your instincts, your powers of observation, your powers of deduction, your ability to reason, and your ability to discern.  It's in your gut, however, it's whether you choose to trust it or ignore it. 

I say trust yourself, its a great opportunity to grow!!

Email Management

Did you know you email is controlling you?  Here are a few tips so that you can control your email.

1. Why cc or bc- it just give you more replies and increases the email traffic.  Only do it if necessary.
2. How many emails are in your in box - 100 many people have 300-500 email.  This is psychologically destroying you.  It is like having 1000 physical sheets of paper all over your desk. Now you wouldn't think of doing that would you?
3. Stop responding to email when it comes in.  A lot of people use email for procrastination.  Decide to respond to email 2 or 3 times in the morning and again in the afternoon (time trap) shut down the alert or even close the email.
4. Do no check your email in the evening or on weekends.  Enjoy the evening and weekend.
5. Don't send partial emails just to get back to people.  Use the draft feature, save and send later.
6. When emails turn into a back and forth discussions (time trap) just pick the phone.
7. Use subject titles to people using black berries/iphones.  Use EOM - End of Message, NTN -No Thanks need, NTR- No reply needed.
8. People give you 5-7 seconds to say what is necessary in your email.  State the purpose of the email right up front.  Use lots of white space because it is easier on the eye. Stop the on going saga......
9. Begin to coach everyone on minimizing the number of emails coming through.  This is a great coaching opportunity. Go see them face to face.
10. Last but not least set up email folders. 

If you will only use three of the above referenced tips you will begin to eliminate waisting time and control your email rather than it controlling you.  Then you will have more time to work on your negotiations skills to ask that big fat raise you want or maybe just the corner office.